You make my sick to my stomach.

I've literally NEVER felt this sick to my stomach in my life. And for once, it's not because of my body. I'm humiliated, hurt, and for christ sake.. I'm confused! As if things in my life weren't already crazy enough, today has to happen.
I'm 16. I can't fucking handle this kind of shit! I can't take all this drama.. I'm supposed to be worried about little things like how to get the guy I like to like me back. Figureing out how to drive and stay out past curfew. Not dealing with things most adults don't even deal with.
I don't know how to do this. I know I have to be strong. I know I have to be wise.. but I'm 16. I can't be all that, all the time.
The only thing I've learned today is to never, EVER give someone all of you. Family or not. People need to earn their trust... you can't just give them the benefit of the doubt. You can't forgive someone more than once. You can't love anyone... it just backfires in your face.

God.. I don't even know what I'm saying right now. I just don't know what to feel.. I don't know how to feel really. Today, I was scared. I was shaking and nervous... but I was strong.
But now.. now I'm weak. I'm just. like. you.
WEAK.
I will never, ever put myself in a position where I hurt someone so badly like that. Especially more than one person.. especially someone you "love!" And never for a guy.
I will never steal someone from their family. I will never take away the right to see family. I will never control someone to the point that they aren't themselves.
I will never use someone as a pawn. NEVER. I will never lie so outright that it's pathetic. I will never trust someone as worthless as you. i will never forgive you for what you've done. I will refuse to be anything like you.

You know what's funny.. when I started this. I was weak. I was scared. and I was confused.
But now, now I'm angry. I know what I'm not but I know what I am.
I am not weak. I am strong.
And I am not afraid anymore.
I'm one pissed off girl and I refuse to wait any longer for things to change.
Your time to physically and mentally abuse people, is over. You will never be able to abuse another child in your life. You won't be able to hurt my family anymore. You won't be able to hurt ANYONE. Because as of now,
I want you locked up where you belong. In prison, again, for the rest of your life.

And when that happens, I'll decide on what to do with the other knife so deeply stabbed into my back.