Why People Suck and How To Effectively Avoid the Stupid they contain. *Contains vulgar language and violent senarios, none of which I have ever commited or will commit. Hopefully*

People Suck.
We fight and steal other people's significant others. We spend countless amounts of money on lingerie and Guns. And most of all... we're stupid.

Not like "Dumb Blonde" stupid, but like "When I look at your face, I kinda want to stab myself in the eyes with an electric razor.. on high, in the shower, with shampoo running down my forehead." kinda stupid.
It's an ineveitable fact, PEOPLE ARE STUPID.

I mean, you know they're gonna be dumb...
But you also know bringing an electric razor in the shower is dangerous.. especially when you have shampoo running down your forehead.
 Shampoo in your eyes hurt in a normal case... imagine how it would feel after you took an electric razor to it!
Well let me tell you, it won't be no TepurPedic. That's for sure.

Back to the point, you know people are going to be stupid so why waste your time?
Maybe because standing next to a stupid person makes you feel superior and slightly more intelligant?
Maybe because they provide plentiful comedy?
Or maybe because in the end... you're pretty stupid yourself and being with other stupid people makes your stupidity.. alot more normal.

But then there are those people that are not only stupid but do things that just PISS.YOU.OFF.

I know you know that person.
The one that makes you pissed off just by seeing them. The one that you pretend to like because it's common courtesy. The one you invite to your birthday party because it's your parents idea. The one that intentionally tries to make your life a living hell....
that one.

There aren't really words for how they make you feel. Any emotions I usually feel while being annoyed by my "chosen person" are:
A) I REALLY want to throw myself into a pen of severely hungered lions, bears, hyenas and/or pirhanas, IF they have an extra tank available.
B) I wonder how long they'd give me since I'm a minor.... No. No, I mustn't.... Orange is sooo not my color.
And
C) Well, I think Pray for You  by Jaron and the Long Road to Love preeeeeetty much says it all. I don't go to church every Sunday but with you, I sure as hell will start.
Amen.

I'm sure you feel the same, you're just to scared to admit that the reason they fell down the bleachers was because you loosened the screw and put dish soap on the seat.
Yes, I know about that. And it's okay. They just got a few bumps and scratches... a few broken bones. Nothing serious.

But you still suffer the pain they inflict on you because nothing they could do, will make you break a nail punching the bitch.
just kidding. They're fake nails.
Or maybe if your one of those sensitive people, you probably can't tell by this but I am most days, and refuse to hit them or retaliate because you never know what is goin on in their home.
Money can't buy happiness, well.. neither can poor people, but if they were happy with their lives they wouldn't be making yours suck.

Now, 5 WAYS TO AVOID BECOMING A STUPID PERSON.

1. Be yourself. Although you might get bad grades and do alot of stupid things, being yourself isn't one of them.
2. Invest in a basement with lots of protective covering. Lock the doors and board the windows. They're stupid... they won't be able to think of much else to do. If all else fails, make the room circular and tell them there is lobster in the corner, salads for the lobster allergy victims and vegitarians.
3. Become a hermit. Buy a shell and some super glue.
4. Move to Antartica.. I heard the penguins are warm and are looking for new "roomies"
5. Don't do drugs.. it helps lessen your chance of losing what brain cells you do have.

So that is only some, if I write any more I might get carpul tunnel, of the reasons people are stupid and how to avoid being one yourself.


ps.
I'm not always this violent. Or sarcastic. Or rude. Or sick in the head.
But a good dose of sick humor is always nessasary.


Forever Yours,
Mandy.